You:"How is it we let these contraptions correct our grammar, our spelling; we let them finish our sentences, and tell us we took a wrong turn, but when a spouse does it, we want to throw a toaster across the room?"
Our ancestors ate shit and died. Then one day someone was born with a strange genetic mutation that caused the first ever emotion of disgust. This mutant was disgusted by poop and didn't eat it and didn't die. Everyone else did. Thus this ancestor spawned the entire human race of disgusting people. Anxiety scientists tell us that threat reactions far predate disgust reactions. Thus our creative brains react to our exaggerations of threats by exaggerating power such as teddy bears Santa Claus Jesus Obama and Trump. Up to 60% of anxious people are cured by placebo. All of the above placebos are innocuous except for one that is insidious. Mom's replace baby's filthy thumb with a sterile pacifier but when that pacifier is lost the filthy thumb goes right back into the baby's mouth. Thus an insidious placebo can replace an innocuous placebo instantly. Please note that religions may be a subset of the class of all placebos and the class of all placebo's may be protected by the first amendment of the Constitution.
A recent Democratic White House recommended an inoculation to anxiety:"Do one thing everyday that scares you"--Eleanor Roosevelt realized that Americans have an anxiety problem even if they don't have anxiety due to the rapid conversion of 60% of Americans placebos suddenly becoming insidious (such as 60% of Americans suddenly being healed by fascism or MAGA). No American takes the White House recommended inoculation because Purdue Pharma convinced all Americans just to keep popping their Valium anxiety pills which Americans did by the billions annually. Purdue Pharma then used the proceeds to launch the opioid crisis killing about a million Americans.
As screwed up as is humans' anxiety/threat reactions, humans' manifestations of disgust, hate, anger, demonization, defensiveness and or rage have not had eons to mutate amazing solutions such as placebos and humans' emotion of disgust only had millennia to evolve a more mature solution such as placebos, and have thus spawned cataclysmic epidemics of immaturity such as their anger being misdirected at the wrong target:
1.
70% of Americans angry at Osama bin laden supported attacking Iraq.
2.
77 million Americans angry at the government believed Trump's claim that undocumented Americans would give up 20 years of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness to vote for a Democrat.
A federal study found 89% of American psychologists shirk legally required science. The power they have over us has corrupted them. Even the first few minutes of their therapy sessions would never be FDA approved. However a robot therapist could be FDA approved and would never have the unevolved defensive reactions that our therapists have when we tell them they are full of crap. Thus Steve's proposal of couple counseling by toaster would be better served if the toaster was a robot therapist.
Most Americans lost their virginity in the backseat of their car. This is because the car was a sexual vibrator that stimulated the bottom of the female and prepared her for receptivity. However electric vehicles do not vibrate thus the lack of young men dating.
Two observations: 1. Let us not forget Quest For Fire's "Ika". 2. The naming of US Cellular Field was not, by far, the worst thing to happen at that field. That would be the White Sox performance. No, I am not a Cubs fan. Go Twins!
I laughed very hard. I so look forward to your writing.
Have you thought of a career in comedy writing? I’m going out on a limb here, but you might be good at it.
Have you had your kidneys scanned? I heard research where all good humor comes from the kidneys, and yours may be spectacular
You:"How is it we let these contraptions correct our grammar, our spelling; we let them finish our sentences, and tell us we took a wrong turn, but when a spouse does it, we want to throw a toaster across the room?"
Our ancestors ate shit and died. Then one day someone was born with a strange genetic mutation that caused the first ever emotion of disgust. This mutant was disgusted by poop and didn't eat it and didn't die. Everyone else did. Thus this ancestor spawned the entire human race of disgusting people. Anxiety scientists tell us that threat reactions far predate disgust reactions. Thus our creative brains react to our exaggerations of threats by exaggerating power such as teddy bears Santa Claus Jesus Obama and Trump. Up to 60% of anxious people are cured by placebo. All of the above placebos are innocuous except for one that is insidious. Mom's replace baby's filthy thumb with a sterile pacifier but when that pacifier is lost the filthy thumb goes right back into the baby's mouth. Thus an insidious placebo can replace an innocuous placebo instantly. Please note that religions may be a subset of the class of all placebos and the class of all placebo's may be protected by the first amendment of the Constitution.
A recent Democratic White House recommended an inoculation to anxiety:"Do one thing everyday that scares you"--Eleanor Roosevelt realized that Americans have an anxiety problem even if they don't have anxiety due to the rapid conversion of 60% of Americans placebos suddenly becoming insidious (such as 60% of Americans suddenly being healed by fascism or MAGA). No American takes the White House recommended inoculation because Purdue Pharma convinced all Americans just to keep popping their Valium anxiety pills which Americans did by the billions annually. Purdue Pharma then used the proceeds to launch the opioid crisis killing about a million Americans.
As screwed up as is humans' anxiety/threat reactions, humans' manifestations of disgust, hate, anger, demonization, defensiveness and or rage have not had eons to mutate amazing solutions such as placebos and humans' emotion of disgust only had millennia to evolve a more mature solution such as placebos, and have thus spawned cataclysmic epidemics of immaturity such as their anger being misdirected at the wrong target:
1.
70% of Americans angry at Osama bin laden supported attacking Iraq.
2.
77 million Americans angry at the government believed Trump's claim that undocumented Americans would give up 20 years of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness to vote for a Democrat.
A federal study found 89% of American psychologists shirk legally required science. The power they have over us has corrupted them. Even the first few minutes of their therapy sessions would never be FDA approved. However a robot therapist could be FDA approved and would never have the unevolved defensive reactions that our therapists have when we tell them they are full of crap. Thus Steve's proposal of couple counseling by toaster would be better served if the toaster was a robot therapist.
Please be advised:
Most Americans lost their virginity in the backseat of their car. This is because the car was a sexual vibrator that stimulated the bottom of the female and prepared her for receptivity. However electric vehicles do not vibrate thus the lack of young men dating.
Wonderful work, Steve! I am tech-aloof. I walk by with my nose skyward, hammer in hand. They know I’m better in uncountable ways!
Two observations: 1. Let us not forget Quest For Fire's "Ika". 2. The naming of US Cellular Field was not, by far, the worst thing to happen at that field. That would be the White Sox performance. No, I am not a Cubs fan. Go Twins!
See reply below, Andre.
Damn straight! Go Twins!!!
I like Minnesota for so many things... except the Twins. Go Guards!
Can we just team up and hate the White Sox together; thereby making us friends? "Small market" teams unite!
“When I was young and my penis was more photogenic” has given me opening-phrase envy
That's funny.
Loved it! ❤️
Loved it!❤️
Okay Steve. This is hands down the best ever V & P. Gotta forward to everyone i know.
Thanks for fun a.m. giggles. Now where the hell is the epi?
Waylaid ..bushwhacked...brigands....that's how I feel every time I'm updated, too.